So I must admit that this picture both enrages my madmometer and makes my cheeks blush lots...i can feel my cheeks and if there was a way to post a picture of them now they would be even more hardcore than the Charmin Ultra baby. But first, the madmometer has exploded and the mercury is all over the place because the Blue-footed Booby, once an unknown specimen, has nearly championed the radness that has been (since the beggining of time) under the modest ownership of the penguin. How can a bellyslider compete with the blue shoes? HOW!? Furthermore, the Blue-footed Booby, possesses a Darwinian fucking handicapp that is sincerely unfair and shit. Although it is not pictured, this guy has a blue throat...a really shiny one at that. How did he develop that? That's like me having a magic tail, which i in fact don't. I think that's fucked up. I forgot. My cheeks are berry because the thing is so fucking cute yet rugged, those qualities that only winners have and I want to be a goddamn winner. I'm jealous of this organism, this, this so called blue-footed masterpiece. I also heard these things have unstoppable techniques in mating style, straight punch through cement shit. I swear man, how did this thing come into existence. Unfairness like this defies the balance of not only nature but the cosmos. I swear if I ever see this psycho I'll invite him to a game of Simon Says and I'll be all "Simon says flap your wings. Great. Simon says bob your head. Good. Simon says have blue feet. Uhuh. Simon says go like this! (While i'm pretending to stab my body all over).
I really miss my mom. This sucks. le sigh.
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