November 30, 2006
Cheers, jack russel terrier
At an intersection corner, i saw a dog postin up looking at the stars. The walk sign went up and I heard chirps. The dog looked left and right, then waddled patiently across the street to the other side and continued to walk down the sidewalk. I almost shit my pants.
November 12, 2006
Fuggetaboutit
I now have control to validate my own prowess and sexuality, and it's not dependent on anyone else's approval. I now know that women all appreciate and adore different qualities. I know that many enjoy traditional qualities in men, ones that have perpetuated gender stereotypes and all the bullshit that goes along with it. Well, I am a sensitive male. I possess many many traditionally labeled feminine qualities. I am mistaken for homosexual by members of both genders. I am emotionally free so fuck all that other shit. I'm not saying fuck you to the girls that didn't get that about me because it's not their fault, kinda. But i'll say fuck you to the girls that did get that about me and thought that there was something wrong with me. Fuuuuuuuuuuuck you very much. This feels great. Why did this take so long? WHY!!!!!???
In other news, the people of Fiji. Fijians, a food-loving society who enjoyed eating and believed that fleshy-looking bodies were attractive for both genders. In fact, when these people would get thinner, they would recieve a slice of bullshit pie. Now............in 1995 TV stations started to broadcast Beverly Hills 90210 and Melrose place...and then 3 years later the Fijian women developed eating disorders because of harsh dieting and stupid american bullshit like that...Fuuuuuuuuuck you very much American TV, you guys fucked up something beautiful. This is sad.
In other news, the people of Fiji. Fijians, a food-loving society who enjoyed eating and believed that fleshy-looking bodies were attractive for both genders. In fact, when these people would get thinner, they would recieve a slice of bullshit pie. Now............in 1995 TV stations started to broadcast Beverly Hills 90210 and Melrose place...and then 3 years later the Fijian women developed eating disorders because of harsh dieting and stupid american bullshit like that...Fuuuuuuuuuck you very much American TV, you guys fucked up something beautiful. This is sad.
November 06, 2006
CMJ Music Marathon
So i blew back into long beach yesterday and i be cheery as fuck to be back here...except for a week i was bundled in this anti 30 degree outfit and it being a 92 degree day here made me want to rabbit punch the sun in the face...being in the wind and having my fingers, nose, cheeks and toes numbed was such a pleasure...i'll miss you Coldy Hawn, you were so kind to me.
Being away from my lifestyle and in Manhattan was so called for...i had to chop some habits into pieces and it worked...but i was drunk and smoking the whole time i was conscious and my wallet was pissed off. Sue me...wait don't do that we need each other. I'm sorry for the abuse. I'll seek help!
-----------------TUESDAY------------------
--The plane ride was tre lame. I was stationed between two oversized guidos that sweated all the way there, i think, because they were sweating before i feel asleep, which was the whole time, and after i woke up. It was then that i realized it is very possible to acquire the stench of someone you haven't even touched.
--Took the Air Train to the A, then took that all the way to Manhattan on 34th to the Chelsea Star Hotel. I should have realized by the title that this was going to be some bullshit because Chelsea is one of the worst names in the galaxy and Star Hotel is sooooo implied of its alleged grandeur, like calling yourself cool and stuff.
--Got there the jersey girl at the desk wouldn't let me check in because it was five hours too early and I'm a fucking zombie so i had to wake up and burn some time.
--I hop on the E train and fall asleep until i'm awoken by the "conductor" telling me to get the fuck off and go somewhere else. I'm deep into Brooklyn at this point.
--I go back to Manhattan and since it took me like 35 minutes! Then I get off near NYU and pour into the record shops. This shit was so boss!
--Get a call from a friend who was already in Manhattan and we meet up, get our badges and check out some booths. They were all lame upstart busineses except this company who are run by these crazy audiologists. Apparently they developed a system where they take an EEG of the brain and somehow read the frequencies, beta waves, and blah blah blah. This reading shows the default frequency response of the brain (which i was told is completely different for everyone), which is then used to create songs that work in conjuction with these readings. Basically, these guys developed songs that produce a relationship which causes the individual to fall asleep. It looked, smelled, and sounded like sincerity but i'll need to research this summore.
--We attend a panel discussion with the likes of Janeane Garofalo, Public Enemy Co-Founder Chuck D, Grammy Winner Steve Earle, and others. They discussed the responsibility of politics in music. It was deep.
- I go back to the hotel to check in because I'm still to tired. I get to check in finally. The room had 10 bunks, no kitchen, red carpet, puke colored walls, and that's about it. I took a shower and forgot that i had no towel. They didn't provide towels, soap, shampoo, nothing. I dried myself with a t-shirt and toilet paper for the whole trip.
--I wake up and everybody else gets to the hotel. We all go out to eat at this diner. When we finish I get drunk and start doing this out the window to passerbys, who react this way.
--We all split up into teams and we kind of do this the whole trip depending on what bands we wanted to see. My team grooved to the Bowrey Ballroom to see The Rapture. I never really listen to them, but they were mad spanky and spanked the shit out of the speakers. The drums were all 4/1 but there were so many fills that i wanted to dance, so i did.
-----------------WEDNESDAY------------------
--Wake up late and eat Brunch at a Diner
--Go to Central Park to see shit and the locals. We stumble across the John Lennon Memorial Tile or something and I wan't impressed one bit. The park on the other hand was like the Backyard of the Orgasm Mansion. The leaves were bright yellow!!! There were geese and for some reason a bunch of baby humans. There were trails that forked into other forks. There was an escape from the bustle. There was a recently married couple It was depressingly romantic.
--We make our way to the "Met" or the Metropolitan Museum. You store a couple of blue whales in there. I "donated" a dollar to get in. Suhweet.
--Eat a pizza and then try to see Cold War Kids and Tapes n' Tapes but get shut the fuck down by the bouncers because they were at max capacity. Fuuuckin lame. So we say fuck that and go to some other bar and I get--->6 whiskey sours, 2 shots of Beam, a shot of Dewars, try to finish a Budweiser and fail. I go the hotel to sleep and wake up the next morning with a headache the size of the end of the world, then puke so hard that i get a pimple or something weird on my face. It's gone now but it looked ugly.
-----------------THURSDAY------------------
--Wake up with puke on my shirt and in my throat.
--Go back to sleep for a couple of hours and wake up. Get ready to go to the MOMA. Get there too late and buy this penguin finger puppet. Look look at it for a second and go back to buy another one.
--We head out to Time Square and it was most difficult to walk in a straight line. I got elbowed, hustled, and shouted at like 50 times after only 6 blocks. We find out that the show we wanted to see was located right across the street and we we like fuck yah, so we eat at Applebees and order appetizers because everything is marked up at least $15. We get accosted by this dude named Bill who has no teeth and he rambles on about being in the war. At the end of our conversation, he says "Oh and I'm gay." He leaves and says "hello again" at least 6 times. We pay our bill and lickety split.
--We go across the street to B.B. Kings to the fucking Stones Thow Chrome Mix Tour. Saw Percee P, Medaphor, Georgia Ann. Muldrow, Oh no, J Rocc, Aloe Blacc, Peanutbutter Wolf, and Mudder Effin Madlib!!!!!!! PB Wolf was scratching DVDs of early 90's music videos and he had the crowd by the balls. I was dissapointed with Madlib because he did only 4 songs. He was so fucked up and I got mad about that. Percee and Aloe were all killin it. They each did only 20 min sets and that was smart.
--We end up in a pub across the street of the hotel. I order a few drinks and before I attempt to close my tab, i find out that i have Alejandro Hernandez' atm card and not my credit card. Later i find out that my card was RACKED with additional charges...i fixed it though the next day.
-----------------FRIDAY------------------
--Go to Sojo and eat this double stacked burger with crazy good fries
--Look around and get jealous that all the stuff it my taste but more expensive than my plane ticket
--Go to the Sam Ash in Time Square and bang the drums for an hour
--Go across the street from Sam Ash to this grocery store where they serve all this soul food...end up eating like 6 pieces of fried chicken and getting really fucking tired
--Go home and knock out for an hour
--Go to see Apples in Stereo and Architecture in Helsinki. Apples in stereo sounded like U2, which made this couple hold each other back and forth like those punching clowns that never fall down no matter how hard you knock em out. AIH was a bunch of friends rocking the fuck out. It was super.
-----------------SATURDAY------------------
--This is the last day here and i'm ready to squeeze out all my needs from this city. So we make our way to the MOMA and it's a little bigger than the one in San Fransisco. This time i put on my headphones and i found that music supplements the ability to be more receptive to the art because it stimulates the mind and therefore allows...well...it's better with music.
--I take a shot of Jameson to help me walk in the cold
--We get back to the subway and my friend didn't have his metro pass so we, according to the ticket, were "doubling up on the turnstile." I swiped my card and both of us went through, yet do our dismay, was a football sized camera supervising our moves. We got tapped on the shoulder on the way to the E, were taken to the NYPD quarters in the subway station and that was lame. But we were laughing the whole time. I wanted to buff my shoes because they had a shoe buffer.
--Go to this sushi joint across the street and order the spider roll, 2 orders of spicy tuna, 3 asahi's and feel like cookie monster. I want to smile. I smile.
--Get back to the hotel then I drink a bottle of french wine to myself. It taste's like water. I get trashed. We head out to the CMJ Marathon closing party and sing "smalltown girl" in the Karaoke room. Dominated the Karaoke!!! Then we dance to some 2000 commercial hip hop which was okay.
--We pack when we get back, all drunk, and cranky because we gots to catch the flight. I don't sleep. That's it.
Being away from my lifestyle and in Manhattan was so called for...i had to chop some habits into pieces and it worked...but i was drunk and smoking the whole time i was conscious and my wallet was pissed off. Sue me...wait don't do that we need each other. I'm sorry for the abuse. I'll seek help!
-----------------TUESDAY------------------
--The plane ride was tre lame. I was stationed between two oversized guidos that sweated all the way there, i think, because they were sweating before i feel asleep, which was the whole time, and after i woke up. It was then that i realized it is very possible to acquire the stench of someone you haven't even touched.
--Took the Air Train to the A, then took that all the way to Manhattan on 34th to the Chelsea Star Hotel. I should have realized by the title that this was going to be some bullshit because Chelsea is one of the worst names in the galaxy and Star Hotel is sooooo implied of its alleged grandeur, like calling yourself cool and stuff.
--Got there the jersey girl at the desk wouldn't let me check in because it was five hours too early and I'm a fucking zombie so i had to wake up and burn some time.
--I hop on the E train and fall asleep until i'm awoken by the "conductor" telling me to get the fuck off and go somewhere else. I'm deep into Brooklyn at this point.
--I go back to Manhattan and since it took me like 35 minutes! Then I get off near NYU and pour into the record shops. This shit was so boss!
--Get a call from a friend who was already in Manhattan and we meet up, get our badges and check out some booths. They were all lame upstart busineses except this company who are run by these crazy audiologists. Apparently they developed a system where they take an EEG of the brain and somehow read the frequencies, beta waves, and blah blah blah. This reading shows the default frequency response of the brain (which i was told is completely different for everyone), which is then used to create songs that work in conjuction with these readings. Basically, these guys developed songs that produce a relationship which causes the individual to fall asleep. It looked, smelled, and sounded like sincerity but i'll need to research this summore.
--We attend a panel discussion with the likes of Janeane Garofalo, Public Enemy Co-Founder Chuck D, Grammy Winner Steve Earle, and others. They discussed the responsibility of politics in music. It was deep.
- I go back to the hotel to check in because I'm still to tired. I get to check in finally. The room had 10 bunks, no kitchen, red carpet, puke colored walls, and that's about it. I took a shower and forgot that i had no towel. They didn't provide towels, soap, shampoo, nothing. I dried myself with a t-shirt and toilet paper for the whole trip.
--I wake up and everybody else gets to the hotel. We all go out to eat at this diner. When we finish I get drunk and start doing this out the window to passerbys, who react this way.
--We all split up into teams and we kind of do this the whole trip depending on what bands we wanted to see. My team grooved to the Bowrey Ballroom to see The Rapture. I never really listen to them, but they were mad spanky and spanked the shit out of the speakers. The drums were all 4/1 but there were so many fills that i wanted to dance, so i did.
-----------------WEDNESDAY------------------
--Wake up late and eat Brunch at a Diner
--Go to Central Park to see shit and the locals. We stumble across the John Lennon Memorial Tile or something and I wan't impressed one bit. The park on the other hand was like the Backyard of the Orgasm Mansion. The leaves were bright yellow!!! There were geese and for some reason a bunch of baby humans. There were trails that forked into other forks. There was an escape from the bustle. There was a recently married couple It was depressingly romantic.
--We make our way to the "Met" or the Metropolitan Museum. You store a couple of blue whales in there. I "donated" a dollar to get in. Suhweet.
--Eat a pizza and then try to see Cold War Kids and Tapes n' Tapes but get shut the fuck down by the bouncers because they were at max capacity. Fuuuckin lame. So we say fuck that and go to some other bar and I get--->6 whiskey sours, 2 shots of Beam, a shot of Dewars, try to finish a Budweiser and fail. I go the hotel to sleep and wake up the next morning with a headache the size of the end of the world, then puke so hard that i get a pimple or something weird on my face. It's gone now but it looked ugly.
-----------------THURSDAY------------------
--Wake up with puke on my shirt and in my throat.
--Go back to sleep for a couple of hours and wake up. Get ready to go to the MOMA. Get there too late and buy this penguin finger puppet. Look look at it for a second and go back to buy another one.
--We head out to Time Square and it was most difficult to walk in a straight line. I got elbowed, hustled, and shouted at like 50 times after only 6 blocks. We find out that the show we wanted to see was located right across the street and we we like fuck yah, so we eat at Applebees and order appetizers because everything is marked up at least $15. We get accosted by this dude named Bill who has no teeth and he rambles on about being in the war. At the end of our conversation, he says "Oh and I'm gay." He leaves and says "hello again" at least 6 times. We pay our bill and lickety split.
--We go across the street to B.B. Kings to the fucking Stones Thow Chrome Mix Tour. Saw Percee P, Medaphor, Georgia Ann. Muldrow, Oh no, J Rocc, Aloe Blacc, Peanutbutter Wolf, and Mudder Effin Madlib!!!!!!! PB Wolf was scratching DVDs of early 90's music videos and he had the crowd by the balls. I was dissapointed with Madlib because he did only 4 songs. He was so fucked up and I got mad about that. Percee and Aloe were all killin it. They each did only 20 min sets and that was smart.
--We end up in a pub across the street of the hotel. I order a few drinks and before I attempt to close my tab, i find out that i have Alejandro Hernandez' atm card and not my credit card. Later i find out that my card was RACKED with additional charges...i fixed it though the next day.
-----------------FRIDAY------------------
--Go to Sojo and eat this double stacked burger with crazy good fries
--Look around and get jealous that all the stuff it my taste but more expensive than my plane ticket
--Go to the Sam Ash in Time Square and bang the drums for an hour
--Go across the street from Sam Ash to this grocery store where they serve all this soul food...end up eating like 6 pieces of fried chicken and getting really fucking tired
--Go home and knock out for an hour
--Go to see Apples in Stereo and Architecture in Helsinki. Apples in stereo sounded like U2, which made this couple hold each other back and forth like those punching clowns that never fall down no matter how hard you knock em out. AIH was a bunch of friends rocking the fuck out. It was super.
-----------------SATURDAY------------------
--This is the last day here and i'm ready to squeeze out all my needs from this city. So we make our way to the MOMA and it's a little bigger than the one in San Fransisco. This time i put on my headphones and i found that music supplements the ability to be more receptive to the art because it stimulates the mind and therefore allows...well...it's better with music.
--I take a shot of Jameson to help me walk in the cold
--We get back to the subway and my friend didn't have his metro pass so we, according to the ticket, were "doubling up on the turnstile." I swiped my card and both of us went through, yet do our dismay, was a football sized camera supervising our moves. We got tapped on the shoulder on the way to the E, were taken to the NYPD quarters in the subway station and that was lame. But we were laughing the whole time. I wanted to buff my shoes because they had a shoe buffer.
--Go to this sushi joint across the street and order the spider roll, 2 orders of spicy tuna, 3 asahi's and feel like cookie monster. I want to smile. I smile.
--Get back to the hotel then I drink a bottle of french wine to myself. It taste's like water. I get trashed. We head out to the CMJ Marathon closing party and sing "smalltown girl" in the Karaoke room. Dominated the Karaoke!!! Then we dance to some 2000 commercial hip hop which was okay.
--We pack when we get back, all drunk, and cranky because we gots to catch the flight. I don't sleep. That's it.
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