empathy

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Have you heard of rock'n'roll? Yes. Then you know who I am.

Allergies are such shitty genetic hand-me-downs. If I could I would take these genes and hide them in a huge slice of steak and feed it to a starving liger. Then when the liger shat it out, I would toss grenades all over that muck. Sometimes when i get a sneeze attack I get mad possessed and perform this shitty dance, as if some demons had a grudge about me. My allergies were tame at one point and I would only sneeze when i looked up at the sky or at the sun (soo bad for you). Now if I look at some guy walking on the street or if I look at a post it i'll just rapid fire that shit man and there's shrapnel everywhere!! i remember when I was 8 I was in a field chasing this chihuahua that stole my cookie and my body was like "hey, watch out for that pollen you idiot!" and i had to rub my eyes so I did for like 5 minutes. Then that wet flesh part of the corner eye started growing and growing until it fucking covered my pupils!! My body fucking blinded itself!! That's fucked up man. It goes away pretty easy with ice though but i had to play Marco Polo to get to it and that was weak.

If I ever get a camera, i'm gonna try to capture that calm before the storm, right before you explode yucky mucus. I swear, the faces humans make are fantastic!! Most people look like a kid about to cry after they just got whooped. Some look like they just caught their mom getting boned by Steve Buscemi. It looks crazy, but it's so REAL. An even more bananas act is the act of fighting a sneeze with your face. That makes you look like you feel when a rancher brands your buttocks.

I bet I can sneeze with my eyes open if i clockwork orange my stuff.

It's all about Naan and coconut curry

Today took my car to the doctor and had some free time to cash in so i skipped to the park...people don't know how to react when they see someone skipping and if i saw someone skipping i would sing a line in a song to the beat of the feet. When i got to the park i placed my body under a tree and faced this massive human-made fountain. I tried reading a book but this pair of ducks started sauntering at me and we stared at each other for a while. They took waddle after waddle and came within less than one foot of me i thought i might have been chilling in their spot or something because they looked like they had some business with me. Instead they just waddled around me in circles. Circle after circle I attempted to decode their communication style but i couldn't get it. They waddled away and they were boyfriend and girlfriend.

i don't know what the duck's primary skill is. They aren't really professional anythings. Are they muses? Or jesters? I couldn't figure it out. I thought all animals had primary skills. Like the hummingbird has professional stealth skills and they can maneuver in linear fashions that look sick as fuck. Actually i guess the duck has social skills. I bet ducks are smooth operators and can woo other ducks into joining their clubs.

This made me think about innate skills in humans. I think that when humans are built, there's this lottery they unconsciously play and they end up with a miscellaneous primary skill, one's that'll never be improved if others impose on them. For example, I was a siiick ass prodigy pianist when i was 6 years alive. I like skipped a couple learning levels and starting playing classics by ear at recitals with adults. Then I stopped going to class because my teacher was this ancient chinese pro who learned and taught the ancient way...she hit my hands with a ruler when i fucked up and she was crazy! I guess that's why my mom plucked me out, she thought I was being abused or something. She couldn't teach me. I got it naturally man...like if you look at an ear of corn or a mango you already know how to cope with it, you eat around the soul. This whole lesson's like this old chinese proverb that I heard Amy Tan spit one time, how you can't save a fish from drowning because well, it will die if you do.

Also at the park was this fogey who was running around the fountain and he was a sensation because his feet were faster than his body...like this bloke was top-heavy the way roadrunner is about to blitz and his upper body stays put as his feet jam out. It was boss. I was sure he was tipping over backwards.

Unrelated is something a friend told me, how there's this cartoon about a guy who was a badass thief...he stole the Eiffel Tower using four balloons Holy shit!!!! I wish something amazing like that happened once in a while...proving the impossible.