October 29, 2006


there are six sides to a pencil and i never noticed this...and many other things go unnoticed...and smells go unsmelled...all the details are washed away. Has anyone stood there to count the leaves or even name the colors? It's time to make an effort to memorize what my friends smell like and what their carpets and upholstery smell like because I disregard what people smell like, except powerful perfume like the one that my boss wears "church candles", "coconut insides" for my professor, and "pillow sleep" for my cat.

it's also time to be generous, generous with eye contact for the people i pass by. There is a tendency to look away when passing by someone who has energy intimidating intimidating intimidating and the way we look away perpetuates this awful message about the nature of strangers, who are really just friends that haven't started high fiving...when looking away, it's better to look at the lips instead of right (if they pass by the left) or left (if they pass by the right) because it's offensive to habit the smugness that is not you...the smugness that transmits the message "I'm too good to be your friend" by the way you look away. When animals look at us, they pass no judgement...you can read an animal's eyes...they aren't saying "so you are not much like me" or these eyes aren't saying "so you are much like me, let's team up against the unlike." No no no these eyes don't say that. Animal eyes are all "what are you about to do right now because if it's to slide that hand of yours across my head then i'll let you, but if not then i think i'll run away and hide under something so i can watch things go by or explode."

We should pretend that we won't see each other ever again and that our acquaintance will be temporary, that this event is especially special, which means that we will fuck each others minds until we get tired of it.

We should let our minds be playful, promiscuous, as getting someone to laugh is an orgasm in far beautiful ways we won't regret.

You flatulated from your mouth,
it wreaked of love and humor,
Sil lent lee I hug you now,
why didn't you postulate sooner?

October 11, 2006

Fun-ness

A really good thing to do is to become in the library and find a human with a ginormous ego, then grin at them, then inch closer to them slowly and slowly, continue to grin. Then when you get as close to the human as they will let you get, life up your pantlegs and exclaim "I have new socks!" Then run away because they will stampede you.

Hiphopatattamus? Nooooooooooo!


So I must admit that this picture both enrages my madmometer and makes my cheeks blush lots...i can feel my cheeks and if there was a way to post a picture of them now they would be even more hardcore than the Charmin Ultra baby. But first, the madmometer has exploded and the mercury is all over the place because the Blue-footed Booby, once an unknown specimen, has nearly championed the radness that has been (since the beggining of time) under the modest ownership of the penguin. How can a bellyslider compete with the blue shoes? HOW!? Furthermore, the Blue-footed Booby, possesses a Darwinian fucking handicapp that is sincerely unfair and shit. Although it is not pictured, this guy has a blue throat...a really shiny one at that. How did he develop that? That's like me having a magic tail, which i in fact don't. I think that's fucked up. I forgot. My cheeks are berry because the thing is so fucking cute yet rugged, those qualities that only winners have and I want to be a goddamn winner. I'm jealous of this organism, this, this so called blue-footed masterpiece. I also heard these things have unstoppable techniques in mating style, straight punch through cement shit. I swear man, how did this thing come into existence. Unfairness like this defies the balance of not only nature but the cosmos. I swear if I ever see this psycho I'll invite him to a game of Simon Says and I'll be all "Simon says flap your wings. Great. Simon says bob your head. Good. Simon says have blue feet. Uhuh. Simon says go like this! (While i'm pretending to stab my body all over).

I really miss my mom. This sucks. le sigh.

October 07, 2006

The soul is sound in autumn

Buh Buh Buh Benny and the Jets! Dugh.....dugh.......dugh.....duuuuunuh nuh!

When those guys speak spanish in the locker room it makes me nervous.

October 01, 2006

I've been dreaming for a while

I summoned psylocibin from the rasta mon's. These were born and raised with deep blessings. Consequently i was beholden to their hocus-pocus. About 35 minutes after consumption, my temperature increased slightly and a sense of euphoria was present. I felt at peace, devoid of time and unoccupied with thoughts that dealt with anything but the present. However, I noticed an elevated level of self-consciousness which soon was to intersect the displacement of my body. I was then accosted by a slight nausea from which my body was attempting to reject the "poison", followed by enduring waves of acute forces residing mostly in my brain and marginally the rest of my form. At times, the intensity was unbearable, possibly due to the company I was in or the intermittent glimpses into manifested visualizations. This element was undoubtedly peculiar because I did not "see" this illusion in the physical world, but entirely with my imagination, thinking these images. The uncanny resemblance to Daedelus' Sundown music video was realized only the next day.
I witnessed these manifestations, meaning that I was unable to control what I imagined.

Essentially I would engage in this process over and over, shutting my eyes to see what my mind was thinking, then occasionally feel the extreme of an emotion among a host of many that exist...unconditional love, throbbing heartbreak, "broey" homage, loneliness, uncontrollable humor, a three-year-old's curiosity, and utter confusion. I must have proclaimed confusion at least six times that night.

I also found words to be exceptionally obsolete in attempting to express myself. In each pursuit, I would find myself incapable of locating the appropriate words in my mind, or any at that. If I tried hard, I would stumble upon gibberish. My opinions were nothing short of complete ambivalence because I would think or feel something, then either forget or lose care about it after. The only way I expressed myself clearly was through the mind and with my body, however, they were all by accident. By simply feeling or thinking something, the others who I were with would instantly receive the message. It was powerful.

I found myself rolling on the floor and lying face up like a corpse on many counts.

At one point in the evening, one of us decided to roll around on an exercise ball and suggested I do the same, claiming that the experience would be rewarding. I followed the suggestion, failing to recognize the loss of weight perception, and rolled off the ball, plowing my coconut through the metal part of the screen door. Bewildered yet unharmed, it took 5 minutes to grasp the happening. I felt like an animal, clueless to the humor of society. Everyone laughed and I hadn't realized why. Shortly after, I named the spherical object the "ego ball", as its use will prompt the destruction of the ego.

I accompanied my ego in a rigorous exchange of spiritual pain. It was VERY Buddhist. I found that my ego, along with the constraint of my physical makeup, was tethering me to this world and without the presence of these two suppressive items, I would have gained entry into a separate realm. I truly was a part of the Buddhist experience. Eventually, I lost my frame of reference, identity, and almost all of my ego. There was some still left that prevented me from being completely free and I know exactly what (will remain unmentioned), desire.

Eventually I died, my identity, sense of knowledge and common sense. I became immature to become more matured. I transcended the sun and the darkness. I saw the others around me, staring at me, wondering where I've been, why i've been asleep for so long, wondering how i've been wasting my time with trivial pursuits, making things "more complicated." At this point I realized that for most of my life, I've been inhibited by my ideals, which I've been sorely mistaking for a habit of stillness and passive subtleties. This will change now.