I summoned psylocibin from the rasta mon's. These were born and raised with deep blessings. Consequently i was beholden to their hocus-pocus. About 35 minutes after consumption, my temperature increased slightly and a sense of euphoria was present. I felt at peace, devoid of time and unoccupied with thoughts that dealt with anything but the present. However, I noticed an elevated level of self-consciousness which soon was to intersect the displacement of my body. I was then accosted by a slight nausea from which my body was attempting to reject the "poison", followed by enduring waves of acute forces residing mostly in my brain and marginally the rest of my form. At times, the intensity was unbearable, possibly due to the company I was in or the intermittent glimpses into manifested visualizations. This element was undoubtedly peculiar because I did not "see" this illusion in the physical world, but entirely with my imagination, thinking these images. The uncanny resemblance to Daedelus' Sundown music video was realized only the next day.
I witnessed these manifestations, meaning that I was unable to control what I imagined.
Essentially I would engage in this process over and over, shutting my eyes to see what my mind was thinking, then occasionally feel the extreme of an emotion among a host of many that exist...unconditional love, throbbing heartbreak, "broey" homage, loneliness, uncontrollable humor, a three-year-old's curiosity, and utter confusion. I must have proclaimed confusion at least six times that night.
I also found words to be exceptionally obsolete in attempting to express myself. In each pursuit, I would find myself incapable of locating the appropriate words in my mind, or any at that. If I tried hard, I would stumble upon gibberish. My opinions were nothing short of complete ambivalence because I would think or feel something, then either forget or lose care about it after. The only way I expressed myself clearly was through the mind and with my body, however, they were all by accident. By simply feeling or thinking something, the others who I were with would instantly receive the message. It was powerful.
I found myself rolling on the floor and lying face up like a corpse on many counts.
At one point in the evening, one of us decided to roll around on an exercise ball and suggested I do the same, claiming that the experience would be rewarding. I followed the suggestion, failing to recognize the loss of weight perception, and rolled off the ball, plowing my coconut through the metal part of the screen door. Bewildered yet unharmed, it took 5 minutes to grasp the happening. I felt like an animal, clueless to the humor of society. Everyone laughed and I hadn't realized why. Shortly after, I named the spherical object the "ego ball", as its use will prompt the destruction of the ego.
I accompanied my ego in a rigorous exchange of spiritual pain. It was VERY Buddhist. I found that my ego, along with the constraint of my physical makeup, was tethering me to this world and without the presence of these two suppressive items, I would have gained entry into a separate realm. I truly was a part of the Buddhist experience. Eventually, I lost my frame of reference, identity, and almost all of my ego. There was some still left that prevented me from being completely free and I know exactly what (will remain unmentioned), desire.
Eventually I died, my identity, sense of knowledge and common sense. I became immature to become more matured. I transcended the sun and the darkness. I saw the others around me, staring at me, wondering where I've been, why i've been asleep for so long, wondering how i've been wasting my time with trivial pursuits, making things "more complicated." At this point I realized that for most of my life, I've been inhibited by my ideals, which I've been sorely mistaking for a habit of stillness and passive subtleties. This will change now.
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